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Rejecting the idea of Reciprocation

1 John 4:19 

“We love because He first loved us” 

I used to be the type of person that only gave people what I received. If someone showed me a lot of love and affection, I would give the same back. Equally, if someone didn’t show me a lot of love and affection, I would give the same back. Do you see how that can become problematic? I placed conditions on the amount of love I showed to people.  

We live in a world where this behaviour seems normal, in some regards logical, but that’s exactly what it is: worldly. Worldly love isn’t associated with Godly love. Worldly love is selfish whereas Godly love is selfless: not prideful or self-associated but fixated on what you can give rather than receive. We are told in scriptures that love is patient, kind, hopeful and never-ending (1 Corinthians 13:4-8) but when we adopt the idea of reciprocation, it’s impossible to fulfil these traits.  

Imagine if God decided to treat us the way we treated people. What if God said, "this person stopped talking to me so I’m never going to give my time to them”, or “this person was rude to me so I'm going to be rude to them”. Even if we break it down to our salvation, if God said, “this person sinned so I’m not going to forgive them”, none of us would be saved. There will be times where we don’t like people, and there will be times where people hurt us, but our love should never wither through that.  

If we look more closely at the verse, “love” first starts from a source, that being God. He is the very essence of love, and the root of all things relating to love. So, if we are to love people, we must follow the example that has already been presented to us. Reciprocation is a worldly view of love, and to reject this idea there are three practical ways: 

  1. 1. Know His Love 

 

How can we follow something without knowing the instructions that have been given to us? By identifying God’s love, we reject the worldly love that has been accustomed in our minds. David describes God’s love as “steadfast” (Psalms 136:1) and in other words this means “fixed” or “unwavering”. God’s love is never changing and so should our love for people. 

 

  1. 2. Receive His Love  

 

Receiving God’s love for you is by accepting Jesus Christ into your life. John 15:13 says “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friend's”. Jesus laid down His life for you, and it is our choice to receive His love for us and accept Him as our Lord and Savior. 

 

  1. 3. Implement His Love 

 

I’m not asking you to die for the next person you see on the street, but our love should be self-sacrificial.  The clearest way to know if we are doing that is to ask ourselves “Am I treating this person the same way God would?”, if we have to think about the answer and negotiate with ourselves, chances are that we aren’t. 

 

The idea of Reciprocation is really hypocrisy wrapped around and decorated with emotions, because we can’t claim to be disciples of Jesus if we don’t demonstrate His same love.

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